STRONGER TOGETHER

How to be a good support network

By Black Sheep Cycling

September 22^nd, 2022

Supporting your mates through life’s ups and downs.

Spot the signs:

Increased alcohol and/or drug use, anger, aggression, irritability, crying

Disrupted sleep, aches, and pains, declining physical health

Risk-taking and impulsivity

Challenging life events (separation and divorce, parenting difficulties, work-related pressures, job insecurity, physical illness, social isolation, and loneliness)

Warning signs can appear in all shapes and sizes. Trust your gut!

Look out for any change in behaviour or someone acting out of character.

Starting the Conversation

A little bit of prep and kickstarting the conversation:

As the saying goes, prior preparation prevents piss poor performance. What are the environments/locations that may be less confrontational to kickstart a conversation? Over a coffee? Over a beer? While exercising?

Remind yourself to relax – role model calm and composed.

Plan for the conversation before acting. Have a loose script in mind. What are the observable behaviour changes you might comment on? “Hey mate, you seem a bit off at the moment, how are you going? Come on mate, how are you really going?”

Keep it simple and direct. Take the pressure off yourself to have all the answers. You can stumble and fumble your way through this stuff, there’s no perfect thing to say to someone who mightn’t be travelling so well.

Remind yourself to LISTEN first. You’ve got two ears and one mouth, listen twice as much as you speak.

Limit throwing out advice or solutions too soon, even if a solution seems obvious. Work with them to come up with solutions together. “How can I help you to work through this?”

"You’ve got two ears and one mouth, listen twice as much as you speak."

How To Seek Support

Let them know about support options:

Encourage good self-care practices. “What have you done in the past to feel better about yourself? Alright, let’s start doing some of this stuff again.”

Don’t underestimate the power of social support. “How can I best support you right now?” Even if they don’t seem receptive to your support, simply being there for them can be extremely valuable. Each time you offer your support as a mate, it can be that metaphorical nudge they might need towards getting help.

Explore referral options together and explicitly ask what you can do to best support them. “I’m aware of some good support options, how can I best help you to connect with one? Let’s do this together.”

Support Options Available:

Lifeline – 13 11 14 – free crisis support 24/7

Trusted GP for a chat – ask about a Mental Health Care/ Treatment Plan and referral to a psychologist

Psychologists who specialise in men’s mental health. E.g., Mantle Health – www.mantlehealth.com.au

When accessing support, it is important to be persistent and patient to find the right fit. Like shopping for a new pair of shoes, sometimes you need to try a few different pairs on before you find that shoe that feels good on your feet.

“When accessing support, it is important to be persistent and patient to find the right fit.”

Consistency.

Check-in, again and again.

Follow-up your conversation to show that you genuinely care (remember the power of social support) and to determine whether they are feeling any better and on the right track. If they aren’t, re-explore some of the support options outlined in Step 3.